Reality Check

This morning i was told that a childhood friend (4th-8th) was killed in a car crash and if you had told me i would take it as hard as i have i wouldn't have believed you, he was the kid to drive me crazy! His sister was one of my best friends until they stopped coming to my church and idk it was more of a shock when i read the report and it was hard to believe but once it did sink in it really hit me, i felt sick and i wasn't crying for how much i was gonna miss him because honestly i haven't seen him for a few years but i think it got to me because he was a guy that never thought about what could happen, he lived in the moment, and getting in trouble was just what happend a lot and i know many guys just like him and giving him a race car at 19 and expecting him to handle it is not rational and i guess i feel bad that he missing out on life it gave me a reality check to how life can be gone in one second and it caused me to break down and the one guy in my life who i thought would just make this worse and not help me calm down helped me a lot he knew what to say and he knew how to say it i assume he has lost someone in his life but i didn't want to ask i assumed he would share with me if he so choose. Of course i feel horrible for all families involved and my prayers are with all of them. It still seems like a movie it is one of those things you never thtink will happen to you, it just happends to other ppl. But this time it happend to me, it made me think of when my brother almost killed himself driving too fast and nearly killed himself, it reminded me of an exboyfriend of mine who does stupid stuff with speeding, drugs, and just poor choices all the time and made me realize although the boy who died was killed by his own poor judgement there are tons of ppl just like him who do the same thing and don't loose control or if they do, they don't die and it made me realize that life can be all in chance and it also i think made me cry not really knowing his faith, he always seemed to think church was a joke but all i can hope is he is with the Lord. I needed to write this just to keep my mind set straight, and i was told giving it time and it will get better and i am doing ok and just giving it time.